Oh, THAT wall. Yeah, I hit it.

So I promised Adrienne I would write something tonight, and Patty's been all up my nose about it (which is acceptable, since she lost about half my body weight and she looks all cute now), and I'm sure you guys were just DYING to know what was up over here that kept me from updating you on the scintillating details of our lives...
Um, yeah, sorry about this, but I've been fiddling with the stupid template for eleventy hours, and this is all you get:

Because a twirly dress is really all you need, and thanks to Adrienne, we got one! Bon soir, mes amis, a demain (as Norah says at school).

Okay, here, have a few more:




So does Daddy, but his don't do anything.

Norah: Mama, my nose is wet.

Me: Yes, yes it is. Have a tissue.

Norah: [much honking and generally missing the tissue, blowing her nose into her hand, ew GROSS] Thass better.

Me: Are you okay?

Norah: Yeah. I just have the snipples.

So glad we invited Hanna to the party

"There's a WHAT coming today?" asked Kristen this morning.

"A hurricane," I said, "and it's going to be a hoot. There's going to be some major flooding in our neighborhood, but because we're lucky and live in a safe place, we'll be totally cool. Tell Norah to get her boots on."



"Hey, Norah. Your friend Ellie is going to try to pull that walking-on-water act again, but if she does, just knock her flat. If she's really that good, she'll float."


"We'll bring out some toys, get the neighbors involved, and have sort of a block party - ostensibly to watch you girls romp around like nuts, but also because we sort of want to romp, too. In fact, Mama may go on out in her sleep-shirt, just because it's fun, and because she's too busy trying to find your hippo floatie to change."


"Don't let it go, though, or we'll have to wade through the woods to get it back, where we'll encounter two crawfish and a beaver. Yes, a BEAVER. In our DRIVEWAY. Too bad he'll be a fast little bugger and we won't get a photo."


"Mama, the floatie is gone."

"It's cool. Astrid's swimming after it. Across the patio."

The stars say go

Aries, September 3:
Things aren't exactly where you want them to be right now and that could
mean that you're in for an uncomfortable time -- but not necessarily! Try your
best to smile and keep others smiling.


And just when I needed some cheerleading, too. Norah's transition to preschool is not going all that well - today when I dropped her off, she had to be peeled from my legs, and I had to walk away without letting her know that my stomach was somewhere north of my throat, and breakfast was headed for the sidewalk. My BABY is CRYING, I thought, and I CAN. NOT. RESPOND.



I know this is going to get better, but good lord, it's hard right now. Good thing I have to keep my shit together for Kristen and Peyton (the youngest of the nanny kids, who's with me most of the time these days) or I would be a pile of jello.


Seasonal updates. That's the ticket.

Hi! So in the last two and a half months, it seems I've had a child, gone on vacations, had the in-laws over for a week and change, delivered Norah unto preschool, knocked out a wall in the kitchen, and made bread that ended up larger than Kristen (y'all ever play with yeast? Seriously, play with yeast. That stuff is MAGIC.) Here is said bread, with a chicken egg for size comparison. When I braided it, it was reasonable - then we had to let it rise some more, and it crawled across the counter and ate the toaster oven.




So the rest of the summer, geez. First and foremost, this whole baby issue - what a trip this two-kid thing is! After some rough weeks in the beginning, we've all gotten used to each other, and it's fun. It really is. Watching Norah turn all cutesy and gentle when she's around Kristen has been hysterical. Her jaw juts out like a barracuda, she clenches her teeth, and grits out, "Aww, baby shissher, you're sho KEWT you baby shissher, you gonna shpit up? You gonna shpit your milk on Mama? Mama thinksh you're shilly, you baby shissherrrr..." I guess she thinks this is how one talks to babies, and I want to tease her about it, but I'm terrified that she'll stop doing it and I won't have anything to make me shpit diet coke out my nose.



Kristen herself, now that she's worked out her original notion that sleeping is for wussies, is a pretty cute little bugger. She's long and lean - even taller than Norah was at this age - and it's becoming a challenge to find clothes that are long enough but not wide enough to fit in the entire contents of the diaper bag. (Although that would lead to one-handed maneuvering... Hmm...) She looks very much like Rob, especially when she's annoyed - their lips get all tight and lemon-sucked in exactly the same shape. And of course, like her sister and father, Kristen sleeps with her mouth wiiiiide open. The snoring in this house, my lord, it's enough to set off the car alarms in the driveway.


We bashed out the wall in the kitchen, and now instead of looking like this (and please ignore the majority of the furniture in this photo, as it is no longer there and/or part of our fabulous collection):



It looks like this (and yes, we just spray-painted that godawful chandlier and put shades on it, but hey, it was a $12 fix):

SO MUCH BETTER! We're putting a small column at the end of the shelf and a pot rack dangling from the ceiling right above it, but that's going to have to wait until either of us is more inspired. At this point, I don't think there's much else we can do to the downstairs, aside from gutting and redoing that nasty little bathroom... Yeah, okay, that's kind of major. One of these days, maybe.

Norah leaped into preschool today at the snooty-booty, awesomely fabulous Montessori school. It started out brilliantly: she marched up there, took her new light-up shoes off, put on her ballet slippers (they can't wear outside shoes in the classroom), hugged the teacher, and went off to see the fish while I melted with glee. Glee for her, because she was clearly having a good time and bypassing that whole freakout issue, and - let's be honest here - glee for me, because I only had one small, non-mobile, morning-napping kid to shuttle around with me. I love me some Norah, but Mama needs her working time. And time to watch CSI reruns on Spike. Oh yes I did.


Then I went to pick her up, and all thoughts of the mad zexy Nick Stokes went zip! out my head, because there was my poor, defenseless, abandoned baby, crying her eyes out and holding her teacher's hand. "It's been on and off tears for about two hours," the teacher said, "but in between, she seemed to have a really good time. I really think she's fine." Then Norah cranked up the waterworks, and I killed myself with a tiny wooden Montessori-approved play knife. "What happened, pal? Are you okay? How was it?" I asked her.

"Oh, Ma-ha-ha-ma," she wailed, "it was GUH-REA-HAY-HAAAAT." What? Great? Then why--? "There's a fish, and he's a blue fish, and we have beads on a string and I put them on the string myself, and Jenna is there and Anne-Sophie, and also Mellya [or Amelia, as her parents call her] and some more kids and there is a mat and I played on that mat and we have to play our things on the mats and then put them away and we have tables and on the tables we can read books and can we do books at home and where can I go potty at home that it will be like going potty at school?"

"Then what's up with the crying? Why were you crying when I came to get you?"

"Because, Mama," she said in a tone that might as well have said because, dumbass, "I MISSDED YOU and I wanted you to see the fish. I fed that fish. Can I go see him tomorrow too?"
And believe me when I tell you that nothing in the last two months prepared me for that. We've been through childbirth, sleeplessness, houseguests, demolition, drywall dust in every orifice, screaming fits, gassiness, and endless wardrobe changes for spit-up and other charming bodily fluids. I thought I was tough, but I still felt a little wobbly inside when my baby a) declared that she missed me and then b) got over it and moved on. To a fish. We're some big girls now, boy.

Deliverance


We're all delighted, especially Norah, who refers to the baby as "my baby sister Kristen who is here now" at all times. And now, if you would, please excuse me while I fall asleep sitting at this computer.

Y'all, I am so happy.

Yup. Stiiiill pregnant.

Wow, it's really hot down here. I mean, really really hot. I knew it wasn't exactly northern Alaska when we moved, but I seriously did not anticipate this open-oven-draft-in-your-face thing we're having these days. I also thought I would plan pregnancies around the foul sweaty weather, but ha ha! Delusions are cute, aren't they?

I'm now three days from my official due date (the 19th, which is also Rob's birthday, and how much do I want a newborn for my/his birthday present) and every night for the past three weeks I've thought, "Oh okay, this is it, I have back pains and WAS THAT A CRAMP?" Obviously I've been incorrect for three weeks, which is getting a little wearing - no one likes being wrong, let alone consistently wrong for 21 days, let alone alone about removing a foreign body from one's abdomen and thereby relieving oneself of a number of unpleasant issues. Like the back pain thing, and the restless leg, and peeing all the time. I feel like a dog in a field of hydrants.

The plus side of being fat, hot, and lazy is that it means I spend a great deal of time inside, which means that I've gotten ALL of my two months of wedding photos uploaded and sorted and processed. I still have a ton of album stuff to do, but most of my girls haven't even scheduled design sessions with me, so it's all pretty much backburnered until a) whenever they get their calendars in order or b) after I get done a'birthin'. Rob's had most of his weekend days off, and will likely have weekends off for the next six months or so (hi Duke! thanks again!) so he's been spending some serious QT with Norah, and hopefully I can anticipate similar sweet sweet freedom work time in the days ahead. Minus time spent with the wee baby attached to my body, of course - which will be SO WAY BETTER than having her inside my body.

Y'all, I really want this kid to get here. Aside from the whole "reclaiming my body" thing, there's the babylust thing, which inspired me to redo the girls' closet, get the crib ready, wash the clothes, all that good stuff - three weeks ago. I want to play with her feet and watch Norah kiss her cheeks, kind of like she kisses my belly at night. (And says, "Good night, baby sister, and I will see you in the morning time. You can wake up and come out ANYTIME NOW." Oh my heart.) I loves me some babies, I do. And, let's not lie, I really want to sleep for more than an hour without staggering blindly to the bathroom sans contact lenses. I feel both are compelling reasons to go into labor tonight, don't you? I'll let you know how that works out.