They're just trying to scare you

I hate email forwards. I mean, seriously, I HATE them. Not the ones that are kind of cute, like Mills' dogs movie or, and you know you love it, the dramatic Prairie Dog!

I also don't mind the ones that are actually worth something -'s secret 50% off code springs to mind. Speaking of, right now it's "green," but I think it's changing soon. No, I hate the ones that are designed to create mass panic, like the one I got today that said in HUGE RED LETTERS that Glade plug-ins cause house fires. Come on, guys - don't we have enough to panic about without adding fear of air freshener arson? Besides, my only fear regarding air freshener is that someone will someday buy me a nasty one, and I'll have to use it out of politeness, and it'll make my house smell like a gas station bathroom.

Anyway! Not much up around here, as you can tell. Rob has just finished installing a new showerhead, faucet, and turny-onny part (handle? what is that thing?) and now he's dancing around doing air punches and saying, "Who's bad ass? WHO IS BAD ASS?" Honestly, I think it's bad ass, too... the old faucet, etc., was held to the wall entirely with mildew. Yesterday he put down the new floor - we were going to tile, but decided that that's lipsticking a pig, so we used those sticky linoleum tiles instead. And voila! Instant proud Rob, instant happy me, instant delighted Norah because she didn't have to take a bath tonight while the plumber's putty set.

Yesterday I volunteered for the WUNC-TV telethon thing, also known as Festival 2008! because nothing makes me party as hard as spending the shopping money on invisible airwaves. Honestly, I'd send them money if I thought we had it to send, but the police, firemen, and homeless guys got to me first. So I gave up my time and answered the phones for three hours, which was an exercise in dealing with humanity. Some people were very direct - here's my credit card, here's my amount, send me a thank-you card, and g'byenow - but the majority of the callers really wanted to discuss something. Anything. The current program, what was on yesterday at 2:30, the incentive gift (for a while, it was a home remedy book that consisted entirely of fodder for those horrible forwards; you should have seen some of the remedies for constipation). It was actually pretty fun, if a little nutty now and then, and I felt like I did a good thing.

And Norah would like me to tell you that she has yet to have an accident in her Curious George underpants, because you can't pee on Curious George, that would be SILLY. Everything that would be bad, or wrong, or sinful, is SILLY in Norahese - I can't wait to tell the next bank robber I see to knock it off, he's being silly. Or rather, SILLY. Indeed.

There you go, all the news that's fit for public consumption - don't you feel smarter? Now go unplug your Vanilla Cookie Breeze before we have to call 911.