mamapants

You understand, right? You understand about my deep, dog-pain-related depression, right? Don't be all judgmental because I dropped out so early in the race - I had big plans, man. I just didn't count on the vet making me all sad.

Astrid is actually getting better. She uses her leg most of the time now, and after she's had her Rimadel or Remadil or whatever (I believe its generic name is "Holy crap I'm going to grind this up and snort it off a mirror") she bounces around like a little rabbit. This, however, is not permitted by the vet, who gave me quite a laundry list of things the dog should not do. Jumping, running, walking more than 100 yards or so, bouncing, and keeping up those Arthur Murray classes - there'll be none of that. If this is what it's like to manage her pain, it's not that bad... those of you who made outlandish offers (you know who you are) are much loved and appreciated, but officially off the hook.

So. Two upcoming shoots, can you imagine? I'm actually getting somewhere with this photog thing! I put together a catalog of all my samples and such - the photo DVDs, the sample book from the publishing house where I'm getting my photobooks done, etc. etc. - and OH YEAH my speedlite and my easy-to-transport mono kit came today. All these new toys! My mom is responsible for these ones - she said Christmas could come early if I got my act together and really worked at this. I feel like I've just been given the shiniest gold star in the sticker book, like somehow all the crap I put up with is being rewarded.

I almost feel like today should be Thanksgiving. That's rather Hallmark card-y, isn't it? Barf.

Here, this'll get my hipster points back: I'm going to play paparazzi next Friday, when I go see my family in Savannah, including my cousin Jeff, who has a pretty sexy celeb-type job. How fun is this going to be? (Assuming he doesn't run over me with his car or something.)

Posted in: wonder puppy, work on 11/16/2006 at at 10:46 PM 3 comments  

And when it raineth, boys and girls, it poureth.

Astrid the hound has a torn cranial cruciate ligament, the dog version of the ACL. This little problem is only really fixable with surgery, and since she weighs more than 50 pounds, she's not eligible for the little fix, a $1300 band around her femur/tibia area that'll keep her bones from grinding into doggy-bone dust. Noo, MY dog, my elephantine dog, is only eligible for the super grande mother of all dog leg surgeries, the Tibial Plateau Leveling Osteotomy. I feel like there should be a row of identically-dressed, tights-wearing midgets with bugles, bugling out a tibial leveling fanfare, because YA-DA-DA-DAAAAA! this particular surgery is going to cost more than $3000.

I talked to the vet at great length (after I finished sobbing uncontrollably) about what happens if we don't get the surgery, and whether or not I was a horrible person for not selling parts of my liver on the black market to pay for it. She said that several weeks of almost complete rest, combined with painkillers, should ease Astrid back to a semblance of herself; however, not doing the surgery will pretty much guarantee some vicious arthritis in a few years, which will lead to daily painkillers for the rest of her life. It's manageable, but her hiking days are over, so to speak.

I have never felt the guilt I felt when I heard that number and thought, "Weeping Jesus, we don't have that! No one I know has that! Surgery is out!" How could I sit there and put a price on what I'm willing to do for the one creature on the planet who has never asked me for anything? How can I say, "Oh, sorry, Toots, you're just going to have to be cripped up for life, and it's because I have nothing to sell, nothing to pawn, no way to get the money for you. You, who would jump in front of a team of rabid hyenas to save my baby."

I can't afford it, and we're just going to have to learn how to make her days as easy as possible. That's all there is to it. What a complete butthole of a day.

Posted in: emotional, wonder puppy on 11/10/2006 at at 9:48 PM 7 comments  

I killed my Tamagotchi in junior high (because who has time to be a responsible pet owner when there are Bonnie Belle lip glosses to be sampled? Dr Pepper to be consumed? Jeans to tight-roll, for heaven's sake?) so here, for our mutual animal pleasure, is the all new, no-kill virtual pet hedgehog!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Watch, I'll kill this one too because I'll forget I gave him bloglife. His odds of survival are good, though, because you can click on More and feed him strawberries. Because of my Tamagotchi guilt, I've given him enough strawberries to make an ocean of dacquiris; ergo, the little bugger will either live forever or die feeling like an overstuffed bag of wet cement.

Astrid the hound has suddenly developed a serious limp - and by serious, I mean, she doesn't even put her foot on the ground. Aside from making snide jokes about renaming her Tripod, what the hell should I do? I'm pretty sure all signs point to Vet, but I'm almost afraid to go... if it's something horrible, I don't know if I can stand it. We're trying heating pads, dog massage (you really CAN find directions for everything on the internet) and small doses of Tylenol for a couple of days, with the understanding that if she's not better by Wednesday we'll take 'er in. I'll keep you posted.

Because I'm a limp dishrag by the time evening rolls around these days (damn you, Daylight Savings!) I am uninspired and boring in my blog posts. Therefore, I am leaving it up to you guys to decide what I blog about this week. Ask me anything* and I'll answer it, one question at a time.

*I do, however, reserve the right to either ignore you or beat the stuffin's out of you if I don't like your question. This is not a democracy, this is a blogocracy, and I am the blogtator. Woohoo!

Posted in: Me Me Me, wonder puppy on 11/05/2006 at at 8:52 PM 3 comments