Notes which will mean zilch to anyone but the person addressed
Dear Lisa,
Dude. You live near The Naughty. Your neighborhood whomps my neighborhood's weirdness rating any day.
Love from across town,
Annie
************
Dear Adrienne,
ASPCA is on speed dial. Clearly Britney's stylist is not on hers. Do I look that bad? Seriously, do I look that bad? Because we have so much in common, as we are both new moms and we have committed boneheaded new mom acts like changing our babies right out in public. Oh wait, that wasn't me.
Love from the dirty south,
Annie
************
Dear Rob,
Love you, buddy, as I have every single day for the past four years - happy anniversary. (Okay, it's in two days, but by the time you read this it'll be yesterday.) Now go make me a cake. I made you one. Git.
Love (the squishy kind that Lisa and Adrienne don't get, sorry girls),
Annie
************
Dear God,
GIVING THE BABY EXCESS MUCUS IS NOT MY IDEA OF A GOOD BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Hers neither, apparently, since she basically cried constantly last night and she's well on her way to a repeat performance. Couldn't you send me something else to test my strength? Locusts, or a flood, or perhaps a really embarrassing venereal disease? I would seriously trade for any one of those, because last night? It was THAT BAD.
Love,
Annie
Posted in: on 6/20/2006 at at 6:55 PM
